It's about 515am and things are slowing down. Since starting at 4am I have three lame as rides and am now on the nut at the Venetian. I am zoned into zone 230 because a driver, 'Chuck' always takes a cab back to the yard (he calls in at 510 and the call usually hits the board ~530) on the days he works (Sat-Wed). Chuck is the man, it's a $13.39 ride and he ALWAYS gives $20.
On the nut and these two guys come up to the cab, the doorman opens it up and they say "Penthouse". Having never dropped off there before I am not sure if they give the full fifty or twenty (after 4am) but am ready to find out yo. Not two minutes into the ride, Chucks call comes on the board (524am) and since I am str8 up gangSta I try and float the ride by dropping off these dudes and picking up Chuck ASAP. We get to Penthouse and I let these dudes out, now usually after they go in and pay I go in there and collect the DOJO.
These Mother F*ckers take forever at the cashier and over the next ten minutes I poke my head in there a few times and see if they've gone in the club yet. By now it's 541am and I can not wait anymore. I offer to sell the rights to the two guys to a Yellow Cab driver waiting outside for $20 but he hems and haws.. I take one final peek inside and those fools are still by the cashier .. so I say "fuck it" and take off to go pick up Chuck. I get to chuck by 549 (which is as late as I've ever been out there), to make it up to him I tell him his ride is on me today (I've picked him up maybe 15 times in the past and since switching over to the 4-4 shift I'm in better position to get him daily).
I tell him the story, apologize for being late. He basically calls me a dumb ass for not waiting to get the money ... of course I agree. I drop him off he insists on paying at least $15 for the ride .. to which I accept. He also tells me to go back to the club and see if I can get that money. Since it's literally around the corner form the yard, I jet over there .. sweet talk the cashier .. and she confirms that the AZN driver from Yellow came in and claimed it as his ride and he got the $100. Tough break, but I knew it was a long shot anyways. However to salvage the trip out there.. I asked to use the bathroom, which is in the club.. so I saw some nice breasts on the way in and on the way out.
Tits.
8/19/08
FOTD XXXII - Gay Flag
A Flag is someone you pick up on the street or other place that is not at a taxi stand. Flags are good and bad. For one you don't have to wait staging in line to pick one up, you just pull over in a safe place off the road and load them up. However it is technically illegal to pick up a flag, in the past it was found that 80% of the assaults / robberies on taxi drivers were a result of drivers picking up flags. As a result of making flags illegal, assaults have dropped off some 90% from their high a few years ago.
Anyways, it's midday and it's slow out.. I'm driving in the service alley that runs behind Flamingo, Imperial Palace & Harrahs when I see this guy with luggage and he's flagging me down. As a rule of thumb, if they aren't drunk, flags are safe to pick up within the resort corridor. So I pull over and he's going to the airport. Before he gets in he yells for this dude to come over by him. The guy doesn't come over and I ask if he wants me to wait and if he's also going to the airport. He says it's cool and we can go.
So I ask him what airline and he tells me Virgin America, I was like yo man I heard good things about that airline (typical small talk bullshit that I engage with every single passenger) and this dudes like, to be honest with you it's like a Gay New York Disco. What do you mean, I say, and he says that the color scheme, the stewards, etc all gave him that impression. blah blha blah blha
So I'm like who was that guy, and he says it was his date for the weekend and that he caught the bus out here from Los Angeles.
"So how did it go?"
-"It was terrible, he was a FOB, and it was hard talking with him."
"Too bad, so you guys going to see each other again?"
-"No way, he thinks we are but there's no way I'm meeting up with him again."
"Man poor guy. He's going to be thinking about you all the way home on that bus and you're not going to think of him at all on the flight back."
-"Ha! You're so right. I'm already making plans for when I get back."
GG FOB
Anyways, it's midday and it's slow out.. I'm driving in the service alley that runs behind Flamingo, Imperial Palace & Harrahs when I see this guy with luggage and he's flagging me down. As a rule of thumb, if they aren't drunk, flags are safe to pick up within the resort corridor. So I pull over and he's going to the airport. Before he gets in he yells for this dude to come over by him. The guy doesn't come over and I ask if he wants me to wait and if he's also going to the airport. He says it's cool and we can go.
So I ask him what airline and he tells me Virgin America, I was like yo man I heard good things about that airline (typical small talk bullshit that I engage with every single passenger) and this dudes like, to be honest with you it's like a Gay New York Disco. What do you mean, I say, and he says that the color scheme, the stewards, etc all gave him that impression. blah blha blah blha
So I'm like who was that guy, and he says it was his date for the weekend and that he caught the bus out here from Los Angeles.
"So how did it go?"
-"It was terrible, he was a FOB, and it was hard talking with him."
"Too bad, so you guys going to see each other again?"
-"No way, he thinks we are but there's no way I'm meeting up with him again."
"Man poor guy. He's going to be thinking about you all the way home on that bus and you're not going to think of him at all on the flight back."
-"Ha! You're so right. I'm already making plans for when I get back."
GG FOB
8/14/08
FOTD XXXI - JGTFO
This better be good right? My day shift runs from 4-4 and night from 4-4 so it is important to get the car back to the yard by 355. I took my last radiocall at 318pm. I call to confirm and Lydia answers.
"Hi, this is Jeremy with the taxi for Lydia"
-Ok
"Are you still waiting for the taxi at 625 Shadow Ln?"
-Yes
"Ok, I'm two minutes away, I'll see you soon. Where are you going to"
-Southwest
"Are you in front of the building?"
-I'll tell you when you get here
(click)
I get over there in three minutes and she's waiting in the front entrance. She's an above avg looking slender AZN chick and so I'm ready to chat her up a little... she gets in the front seat and tells me to go the freeway. She tells me the cross streets of Flamingo and El Capitan (~$30 ride that will put me over $400 for the day) and we head out. On the freeway, traffic starts to back up by Spring Mountain so I tell her it's best to get off and head up the road. On the way, I offer to turn on the radio and she agrees, and I tell her to go ahead and tune it to what she likes.
She chooses 90.5 FM which after listening to some of the lyrics is a Christian station. No big deal, my aunt listens to that. Anyways this chick doesn't say shit the entire way. She does have a wedding ring on though, since I picked her up across the street from a hospital and at the county health building, I let her slide a bit cuz something bad could of happened to her. After 22 minutes I reach El Capitan and turn left and cross Flamingo.
"Do I go straight?"
-(silence)
"Look you haven't said a word all ride or given me an address. I'm driving a taxi which means that you give me an address and I drive you there or you give me directions and I follow them, all you have said was Flamingo and El Capitan and we just passed that."
-Turn right at the stop sign.
"Thank you"
-Turn right at the second street and it's the second house on the right.
"Okay"
We get there and the fare is $35.65 and it's 343pm. She reaches in and hands me her credit card..
"I'm sorry we don't accept credit cards, only Desert Cab accepts them"
-All I have is $25.00
"We can go back out to the bank and you can get money"
-Can I give you the number on my card?
"I have no way to get paid with your number"
(she reaches in and pulls out a $20 a $5 and 7 $1's and hands them to me)
"This is only $32.00, you still owe me $3.65"
-I don't have it.
"We can go back to the corner and you can get money at 7-11 or something"
-(silence)
"Look do you have $4 in quarters in your house"
-No
"You still owe me $3.65, we can go to the ATM but I have to leave the meter on so it's going to be more"
-(silence)
BY NOW IT'S 345 AND I HAVE OVER 6 MILES TO GET BACK TO THE YARD.
"Surely you must have change in your house?"
-No
"Just get the fuck out. . . and by the way, I'll go to confession this weekend"
She tries to say something but I was definitely not listening to her anymore. I drive away and make it back to the gas pumps at 402.
JGTFO
"Hi, this is Jeremy with the taxi for Lydia"
-Ok
"Are you still waiting for the taxi at 625 Shadow Ln?"
-Yes
"Ok, I'm two minutes away, I'll see you soon. Where are you going to"
-Southwest
"Are you in front of the building?"
-I'll tell you when you get here
(click)
I get over there in three minutes and she's waiting in the front entrance. She's an above avg looking slender AZN chick and so I'm ready to chat her up a little... she gets in the front seat and tells me to go the freeway. She tells me the cross streets of Flamingo and El Capitan (~$30 ride that will put me over $400 for the day) and we head out. On the freeway, traffic starts to back up by Spring Mountain so I tell her it's best to get off and head up the road. On the way, I offer to turn on the radio and she agrees, and I tell her to go ahead and tune it to what she likes.
She chooses 90.5 FM which after listening to some of the lyrics is a Christian station. No big deal, my aunt listens to that. Anyways this chick doesn't say shit the entire way. She does have a wedding ring on though, since I picked her up across the street from a hospital and at the county health building, I let her slide a bit cuz something bad could of happened to her. After 22 minutes I reach El Capitan and turn left and cross Flamingo.
"Do I go straight?"
-(silence)
"Look you haven't said a word all ride or given me an address. I'm driving a taxi which means that you give me an address and I drive you there or you give me directions and I follow them, all you have said was Flamingo and El Capitan and we just passed that."
-Turn right at the stop sign.
"Thank you"
-Turn right at the second street and it's the second house on the right.
"Okay"
We get there and the fare is $35.65 and it's 343pm. She reaches in and hands me her credit card..
"I'm sorry we don't accept credit cards, only Desert Cab accepts them"
-All I have is $25.00
"We can go back out to the bank and you can get money"
-Can I give you the number on my card?
"I have no way to get paid with your number"
(she reaches in and pulls out a $20 a $5 and 7 $1's and hands them to me)
"This is only $32.00, you still owe me $3.65"
-I don't have it.
"We can go back to the corner and you can get money at 7-11 or something"
-(silence)
"Look do you have $4 in quarters in your house"
-No
"You still owe me $3.65, we can go to the ATM but I have to leave the meter on so it's going to be more"
-(silence)
BY NOW IT'S 345 AND I HAVE OVER 6 MILES TO GET BACK TO THE YARD.
"Surely you must have change in your house?"
-No
"Just get the fuck out. . . and by the way, I'll go to confession this weekend"
She tries to say something but I was definitely not listening to her anymore. I drive away and make it back to the gas pumps at 402.
JGTFO
8/13/08
Almost Dead Puppy
Since I've started driving a taxi in Las Vegas, I reckon I've driven ~32,000 miles with 75% on the city streets (175/day * 7 mos * 26 days/mo). I have yet to see (knock on wood) a pedestrian get hit (I did see someone on a bike get 'nudged'), a car accident or an animal get run over. . . until today obviously.
First up at the left turn signal at the intersection of Desert Inn and La Canada. I see a cute little black puppy, no more than 6-8 weeks old off on the right of the street about 30 feet in front of me. He crosses my side of the lanes with no problem and makes it to the median. The oncoming traffic is very heavy and I'm kind of hoping that he'll just wait to cross until the traffic clears. BUT NO! He straight jumps out in front of the cars (and since he's so small, no one can see him) and a car in the first (of three) runs over the top of him but misses him.
He gets halfway through the second lane when he gets clipped and he hits the deck. Another car hits him but his head has not exploded yet... a few more cars go by and the traffic is clear and this darn puppy is str8 up F*cked. I can see blood and then he starts trying to move and he's half run over so he is not having much luck. Then my light turns green, for a split second I thought about driving against the traffic and popping his head for him but I had to pick up my ride. Not sure what happened but hopefully someone finished the job for him.
So Sick.
First up at the left turn signal at the intersection of Desert Inn and La Canada. I see a cute little black puppy, no more than 6-8 weeks old off on the right of the street about 30 feet in front of me. He crosses my side of the lanes with no problem and makes it to the median. The oncoming traffic is very heavy and I'm kind of hoping that he'll just wait to cross until the traffic clears. BUT NO! He straight jumps out in front of the cars (and since he's so small, no one can see him) and a car in the first (of three) runs over the top of him but misses him.
He gets halfway through the second lane when he gets clipped and he hits the deck. Another car hits him but his head has not exploded yet... a few more cars go by and the traffic is clear and this darn puppy is str8 up F*cked. I can see blood and then he starts trying to move and he's half run over so he is not having much luck. Then my light turns green, for a split second I thought about driving against the traffic and popping his head for him but I had to pick up my ride. Not sure what happened but hopefully someone finished the job for him.
So Sick.
8/11/08
FOTD XXX - Emergency Room Pick Up
As you can probably imagine, a city the size of Las Vegas has quite a bit of activity at the local hospitals. Two previous pick ups that come to mind are this one guy who visited his daughters fiancee at the ER. This dude just got mugged in the parking garage at The Platinum Hotel. According to the guy, he was beat so bad they weren't sure he was going to make it yet.
The other is kind of sick. I picked up a blind older lady and her rather large bearded daughter. But the thing that makes this so bad ass is that this daughter (~40yrs) was only wearing a nightgown top, no bra, had a huge hole under the armpit, had holes in her socks.. but this chick had the largest breasts EVER! And through the hole in the shirt you could see some incredible side-boob. Even though she was bearded I found myself attracted to this woman's breasts. So sick, but I really wanted to get a closer look.
Which brings us to todays FOTD. He was my last ride of the day, and going in I kind of did him dirty to begin with. I took the radiocall while I was 3rd up at Caesars. My passengers get in and they want to go to the Hilton Grand on the strip (north of Circus & in the opposite direction of the call), as we're driving they ask if I'd be willing to wait while they get their luggage from the bellman, then take them to the airport ... so I agree cuz it'll keep the meter on and get me back in the direction of the ER.
While waiting for the luggage I call up my radiocall, and tell him that I'll be there in 15 minutes, knowing darn well it would be 30+ minutes before I could get there. He says that he's been waiting 45 minutes already, he's in a lot of pain and that he needs to go to the UMC (univeristy medical center) ER and get surgery done over there. So I drop these guys off and hustle over to the ER.
This guy gets in and we start talking. He's already been on a 15 month Tour in Afghanistan and is currently on break in the middle of his current 15 month Tour in Iraq. He is infantry so he's out there in the action. He downplays it a lot saying he's mainly doing humanitarian stuff and training the 'lazy ass' Iraqi troops.
So the problem he had was that he had some type of abscess near his lymph nodes (or in his neck) and it hurt bad. The UMC was one of two ER's in the city that had the doctors that specialize in draining the puss out of that shit. So anyway, this dude was a class act, and I made him wait for his pick up.
Side Boob Baby!
The other is kind of sick. I picked up a blind older lady and her rather large bearded daughter. But the thing that makes this so bad ass is that this daughter (~40yrs) was only wearing a nightgown top, no bra, had a huge hole under the armpit, had holes in her socks.. but this chick had the largest breasts EVER! And through the hole in the shirt you could see some incredible side-boob. Even though she was bearded I found myself attracted to this woman's breasts. So sick, but I really wanted to get a closer look.
Which brings us to todays FOTD. He was my last ride of the day, and going in I kind of did him dirty to begin with. I took the radiocall while I was 3rd up at Caesars. My passengers get in and they want to go to the Hilton Grand on the strip (north of Circus & in the opposite direction of the call), as we're driving they ask if I'd be willing to wait while they get their luggage from the bellman, then take them to the airport ... so I agree cuz it'll keep the meter on and get me back in the direction of the ER.
While waiting for the luggage I call up my radiocall, and tell him that I'll be there in 15 minutes, knowing darn well it would be 30+ minutes before I could get there. He says that he's been waiting 45 minutes already, he's in a lot of pain and that he needs to go to the UMC (univeristy medical center) ER and get surgery done over there. So I drop these guys off and hustle over to the ER.
This guy gets in and we start talking. He's already been on a 15 month Tour in Afghanistan and is currently on break in the middle of his current 15 month Tour in Iraq. He is infantry so he's out there in the action. He downplays it a lot saying he's mainly doing humanitarian stuff and training the 'lazy ass' Iraqi troops.
So the problem he had was that he had some type of abscess near his lymph nodes (or in his neck) and it hurt bad. The UMC was one of two ER's in the city that had the doctors that specialize in draining the puss out of that shit. So anyway, this dude was a class act, and I made him wait for his pick up.
Side Boob Baby!
8/10/08
FOTD XXIX - Ron Paul Passengers from Pahrump
Ron Paul won Nye County with nearly 38% of the vote. Today I took a radiocall at Sunset & Durango. I call them up and give them an ETA and I meet up at the gas station. I pick up a couple that lives out in Pahrump, NV - yes home of the legal brothels - they were on their way to the airport to go on a 14 day trip to Italy. The Wife was last there 30 years ago as a nineteen year old and the dude has never been, they are going to Florence, and some other place.
Anyways, their car breaks down along the way and they are tripping out. IMAGINE THEIR SITUATION. Obviously you don't talk about politics or other sensitive subject when you're driving strangers to their destination.. but the woman let slip a key phrase
"I HOPE YOU'RE NOT A SOCIALIST"
LOL ZOMG. So I follow up with, oh you guys must be Ron Paul supporters (aka survivalists, radicals, constitutionalists). "yes we are" .. I share with them that I was a County Delegate and they share with me they were State Delegates. They were stoked that I was a (former) Ron Paul supporter driving them to the airport.
But guys, there is a reason they live out in Pahrump. They were a little koo koo.
Anyways, their car breaks down along the way and they are tripping out. IMAGINE THEIR SITUATION. Obviously you don't talk about politics or other sensitive subject when you're driving strangers to their destination.. but the woman let slip a key phrase
"I HOPE YOU'RE NOT A SOCIALIST"
LOL ZOMG. So I follow up with, oh you guys must be Ron Paul supporters (aka survivalists, radicals, constitutionalists). "yes we are" .. I share with them that I was a County Delegate and they share with me they were State Delegates. They were stoked that I was a (former) Ron Paul supporter driving them to the airport.
But guys, there is a reason they live out in Pahrump. They were a little koo koo.
My Friends
To my most loyal readers and random visitors I have been lagging without a doubt on this blog. I will start cranking out more FOTD's plus interesting tidbits of my everyday life. Some of the FOTD's are ones that I've wrote IN August and back dated to around the time that they happened.. but more than likely I will just get back to it.
The longer you drive, the things that seemed crazy are becoming a normal everyday part of the job. Not like it's CRAZY crazy, but just crazy normal. I am no longer shocked by the crack whore who wants to exchange her professional service for a short ride into town... (It will take an truly exceptional crack whore to get her own FOTD writeup) etc. etc.
You're Humble Servant and Friend,
HI2SD2LV
The longer you drive, the things that seemed crazy are becoming a normal everyday part of the job. Not like it's CRAZY crazy, but just crazy normal. I am no longer shocked by the crack whore who wants to exchange her professional service for a short ride into town... (It will take an truly exceptional crack whore to get her own FOTD writeup) etc. etc.
You're Humble Servant and Friend,
HI2SD2LV
8/5/08
FOTD XXVIII - $100 Tournament Chip
It's about 545 in the A. M. (the sun is definitely not fully up) and I just cleared at MGM. The midweek summer crowd is truly sparse and the cabbies are all lined up all the way down the street and around the corner (~40 or em) and there seems to be no movement. So go the back way out of the MGM past the Garden Arena and out the side street pass the employee entrance and out to the Strip (this used to be my old geo route that I took to get to a few hotels we could load at - Polo Towers, Grand Chateau, MGM Signature, Hard Rock). I turn right and as I'm coming up to Walgreens this dude flags me down. I turn into the parking lot (to get off the strip and at least look like I'm loading him legally) and meet up with this guy and ask him where he's going.
BALLY'S PLEASE AND I ONLY HAVE $100 DOLLARS BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A $20 TIP. And since I'm am apparently such a greedy bastard, I say get the fuck in and let's go baby! It is literally just down the street and we get there in like 2 minutes.. he asks to go around the corner to the Sports Book entrance, and I oblige. We park and the fare is $5.42 ... he says I only have a $100 chip, just give me $70 back.. I get the change ready and he hands me a hilton $100 "Tournament Chip". I'm like dude this is not worth anything..
and he tries to argue back that it was ..
by now I realize this mother f*cker is trying to scam me and that's it baby..
"you f*cking piece of shit you're trying to scam me. this is worthless and you know it... do you have any money? ("no") Get the fuck out of my cab NOW"
Since it's only $5.42 I can let it go, or so I thought .. after he leaves I say F this guy, and rush to catch up with him and he B-Lines towards the main entrance.
I able to shadow the entire way, and not sure what I'm going to do (I would feel awfully foolish to call Metro and TA over to arrest this guy) he gets into the cab stand AGAIN. And I'm like - NO WAY ASSHOLE. and I point to the valet and tell him don't load him I need you to call security now. I AM A DRIVER AND HE RIPPED ME OFF.
LOL.. So this guy obviously keeps trying to do this with different cabs, trying to get them to make change.. and maybe it has worked but I am very familiar with "Tournament Chips".
It turns out security and the valet know this guy, he's been 86'd numerous times from their casino, he is mildly retarded and as they say "harmless" ... I don't want to waste an hour plus trying to get this guy arrested so I take off and that is that.
IN HINDSIGHT. This guy is a scam artist and I should of called the cops regardless of the amount.
-$5.42, gg
BALLY'S PLEASE AND I ONLY HAVE $100 DOLLARS BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A $20 TIP. And since I'm am apparently such a greedy bastard, I say get the fuck in and let's go baby! It is literally just down the street and we get there in like 2 minutes.. he asks to go around the corner to the Sports Book entrance, and I oblige. We park and the fare is $5.42 ... he says I only have a $100 chip, just give me $70 back.. I get the change ready and he hands me a hilton $100 "Tournament Chip". I'm like dude this is not worth anything..
and he tries to argue back that it was ..
by now I realize this mother f*cker is trying to scam me and that's it baby..
"you f*cking piece of shit you're trying to scam me. this is worthless and you know it... do you have any money? ("no") Get the fuck out of my cab NOW"
Since it's only $5.42 I can let it go, or so I thought .. after he leaves I say F this guy, and rush to catch up with him and he B-Lines towards the main entrance.
I able to shadow the entire way, and not sure what I'm going to do (I would feel awfully foolish to call Metro and TA over to arrest this guy) he gets into the cab stand AGAIN. And I'm like - NO WAY ASSHOLE. and I point to the valet and tell him don't load him I need you to call security now. I AM A DRIVER AND HE RIPPED ME OFF.
LOL.. So this guy obviously keeps trying to do this with different cabs, trying to get them to make change.. and maybe it has worked but I am very familiar with "Tournament Chips".
It turns out security and the valet know this guy, he's been 86'd numerous times from their casino, he is mildly retarded and as they say "harmless" ... I don't want to waste an hour plus trying to get this guy arrested so I take off and that is that.
IN HINDSIGHT. This guy is a scam artist and I should of called the cops regardless of the amount.
-$5.42, gg
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